I wish my heart was less like a mood stone, too easily affected by kindness, compliments, becoming anxious about containing them like pretty butterflies, afraid they will leave and not return. Some friends say to me, “Thank you for your kindness;” but I want more physical kindness, more hugs. My thumb is sore from too many online friendships, keeping these up. I’m worried my thumb will grow fur, return to animal, a monkey thumb. Monkey Thumb Syndrome–when you haven’t gotten or given enough hugs. How many others are deprived of touch in this online world? How many will revert to gorilla? Perhaps some people are not as much in need of hugs as I am, prefer more solitude, traveling and bathing in the sun alone, their skin becoming more like lizard skin. Friends keep saying we will meet up, dangling promises, like vine ropes hanging far off in the jungle, making me feel stuck on the other side, on the cliff.
