There was hardly any shade near our campsite. I didn’t like the place. No one was in a good mood. I don’t remember what my older brothers and sister were doing when our parents took off after lunch. They’d been fighting all morning. Later in the evening, my father came back by himself. My uncle had just lit the campfire and my aunts and some of my older cousins were setting up their lawn chairs. I was lying on my back in the sand, away from the fire, looking at the stars. I heard the grownups talking by the car. My sister was standing with them.
The following day, my father left just before noon. An hour later, he was back; my mother was with him. My brothers and I wandered over to the car. We couldn’t see anything wrong with her. She said everything was okay but we had to go home. Just us. My cousins got to stay another week.
We drove all day and made it home by five, only to find the temperature hotter at home than it was at the campsite. Our father told us not to bother our mother. He said we were having breakfast for supper. I watched him take out a bowl and a fork and begin cracking eggs. My brothers immediately took off, leaving my sister to unpack the car. After a few minutes, my father turned around. A bead of sweat dropped from his nose.
“Don’t just stand there. Go outside and play. We’re eating in an hour.”
I walked several houses over to where my friend, Scott lived. Scott’s mother, Eileen, was in the garden, picking raspberries when I came into the backyard; “Scott’s in the ravine helping his father with the bees. One of the hives took off. Did you have fun on your camp trip?”
I nodded, “It was okay. There was a nice beach. My mom said it was too crowded. It was too far away for us to walk to.” We sat at the picnic table under the maple tree. To think I was so frightened of this woman when I first knew her. Scott’s family was Catholic. Every Sunday morning I watched them drive off to church. They followed rules. Scott had to be home by seven and in bed by eight. Homework came before everything. All the kids had jobs. They even had savings accounts.
In my house, we didn’t follow a plan. There were no rules, no formal chores. We were never church-goers. But we had fun, especially when our cousins and aunts and uncles came over. My parents loved to throw parties and there was always lots of food and dancing. Both my mom and dad came from broken families. My aunts told my mom how my grandfather gambled away the farm and took up with the school teacher.
My grandmother was left with thirteen kids and no home. The older kids were taken out of school and sent to work on farms. When my grandmother visited us at Christmas, she left her teeth in a cup beside the sink.
My older brothers were hardly ever home. They’d made friends with a different family on the street. This family had five sisters and two brothers. The sisters were nice but the older boy was wild. He was always getting kicked out of school. One time when his parents were away for the weekend, he brought out his electric guitar. He sounded like the records my brothers played when my dad wasn’t around. Sometimes he played his guitar late at night with the window open. A few years later, he drove his car over a woman by accident after a bush party and had to go to prison.
Whenever my brothers got into trouble, my father gave them hell with his belt. If they did something really bad, like stay out all night without telling them, he cut a branch off of a tree in the backyard and used that. Neither of my brothers stayed in school. I was rarely in trouble. Every Saturday my father drove me downtown to the public library. He would wait in the car while I went inside.
“We’re having a barbeque. Would you like to stay for supper?”
“I eagerly nodded. I knew Eileen would make me run home and tell my dad. But I couldn’t help thinking that sitting in the shade in Scott’s backyard was way better than camping. A cardinal started up. He was sitting near the top of the cherry tree closest to fence.
“He’s very determined,” said Eileen; “My mother always said, when the cardinal comes around, it means you have a visitor from heaven.”
“My mother knows a crow named Reggie. She puts out food for him every day. My mom feeds all the animals. One time there was a skunk on our porch and I had to go in through the front door.”
There was a noise from the ravine and the cardinal flew away. Scott and his father were coming up the slope. Scott’s father carried a wooden box. He was walking slowly. Scott ran ahead when he saw me. “I thought you were camping for another week?” he said.
I didn’t want to talk about camping. I wanted to hear about the bees. So I told him what my sister told me: “Mom lost the baby.”
