my dog is obsessed
with the frequency of the lantern
she can’t measure the flash
– every 8.2 seconds –
but she knows after that
there’s darkness again
so she gets all excited
when the beam comes back and
– if ever so briefly –
we are wise and complete
and we talk lightly and bark
and jump up in the kitchen
and feel things you can only feel
when you’re blessed or happy
or wild or intoxicated
and at that time – for a second –
it doesn’t really matter
if you are human or animal
because you have never been more alive
then the kitchen shifts into a gloom
and she will stay put
not knowing what happens to the light
during the time she can’t see it
our focus is then diverted to appointments
and medical check-ups
transitional periods that seem to last longer each time
the CT scanner rotates and i
think of the frequency
of the beam hitting the kitchen walls
we both fear these in-between intervals
are a sigh of a relapse
so one night i take her up to the lighthouse
next to it the lantern rotates slowly
as if it were in no hurry to shine
or to save anyone
i patiently explain to her
it just follows a flashing pattern
in which seconds fall in like days
or years
and you feel you sometimes live in that light
rotating too ever so slowly
understanding the darknesses that preceded you
and the one you will probably go through
my dog looks at me
in that passing moment of light
when we don’t care to look around
at the chaos in the house
and in our lives
probably unaware that in no time we’ll be going back
to growling like beasts or abandoned animals
and jonesing for that fleeting moment
lower down the waves break in a sequence
she looks at me like she knows that even there
in the deep darkness
you can see a light above the surface
for an instant that gracefully
seems an eternity
and you talk and love and bark with the fish
like you are human or animal
and really
it doesn’t matter
Miguel’s poems appear in The Lake, Book of Matches, Red Fern Review, Wilderness House Literary Review, Scapegoat Review, Last Leaves Magazine, The Bluebird Word, DarkWinter Literary Magazine and The Raven’s Perch. He likes walking country roads and is friends with a heron that lives in the marsh near his home.
