My mother was weird. So much so that when referring to her with my sister, I always say: “Your mother… .” My sister does the same.
She was a piano prodigy, who was invited to a Master Class with Percy Granger. She was also an accomplished equestrian specializing in jumping. Very accomplished. But she told us: “Milk is for calves. Fresh Air is for horses. When a baby is born, it is assigned a large but unknown number of heartbeats. Once that baby has used up that number of heartbeats, it’s over. Therefore, you should never exercise. Doing so speeds up your heart rate thereby shortening your lifespan.”
She was very logical. Given her premise about the fixed number of heartbeats each person has, then her conclusion does follow. Logic or not, my sister and I both managed to ignore all of these bon mots from our mother.
Until May of 2023.
I was suffering from 80% Atrial Stenosis meaning the atrial heart valve was only opening to 20% of normal. I was scheduled for surgery to replace my valve with an artificial one. About a week before the surgery, I had an appointment with the surgeon at his office. He had an oversize plastic model of the heart that could be taken apart to see the inside structure. He showed me the plastic valve which is a flat disc about the size of a quarter with radial vanes that opened and closed as the rim was squeezed and released.
He said: “We have two types of artificial valves. A metal one that requires open heart surgery to implant. And a plastic one that is implanted through catheters. Considering that you’re over 87, we will be using the plastic one in your case. In preparation before the surgery, one catheter will be placed in each femoral artery on the inside of your thighs. Both of them will be inserted back through the artery above the heart and down into the atrium. One of them will have a fiber optic line to provide light and to attach to a video camera so we can see what we’re doing. In the other one, a thin wire will be threaded into the atrium and hooked onto the middle of the aortic valve. Then a small bead will slide up the wire and be held at the center of the valve. A small hose attached to the bead will have air under pressure pumped into it. This causes the bead to expand outward destroying the defective valve. It then adheres to the circular muscle that operates the valve. The tube is sealed and disconnected and the new valve takes over regulating blood flow. Any questions?”
“How long will this new valve last?”
“Its projected lifetime is 10 years.”
“So, when you say 10 years, you mean at a certain average heart rate, right?”
“Yes.”
“So equivalently you could have said for a certain number of heartbeats, right?”
“Well, yes.”
Wow, I’m beginning to think that my crazy mother might have been on to something. I’m about to get that magic number she was going on about. Continuing, I asked: “So, does that mean I should try to keep my average heart rate down? I shouldn’t exercise?”
Laughing, he said: “Oh no, don’t do that. Feel free to exercise. If you wear out this valve, we’ll just put in another one. We call it Valve-In-Valve.”
Valve-In-Valve. Wow. That sounds like some new kind of engine for a car. Overhead valve. Rotary valve. Valve-In-Valve.
Now, I’m getting up at 5 AM and doing 2000 steps on an elliptical. I’m pushing hard because I want to be able to say: “I have a Valve-In-Valve and you don’t.”
Dean Z. Douthat is a retired engineer residing in a senior living facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan
