I wear your ring
on my left index finger
surrounded by your love
every moment, now
I search for memories
of when you were still here
I wear the Paris hoodie
you bought me at the Eiffel tower gift shop
on our honeymoon
in the soft fleece
of the inside
I feel your love
I pull out the box
that holds our wedding treasures
and pour through them, one by one
I look into your eyes in each photo
I read your words of love on every card
I smile at the memories of each saved memento
at the sight of the chopstick wrapper
from the day you first said you loved me
I weep
I thought I had lost that treasure
in one of the moves and I’d already let it go
and here it is, again
on my walk to the lake
I see rock after rock after rock lining the path
shaped in a heart, for me
I am convinced you
scattered them in the path
just for me
I turn on
the Stevie Ray Vaughn channel on the Bose
to touch the bruise
music let’s loose
the floodgates of tears
deeper, somehow
as I paint
the story of our life, together and beyond
our love shines through, radiant and resplendent
each time I pause to sit
my cat leaps on my lap
trying to knead my shattered heart back together
and I
remind myself
to breathe
