I clutched the stupid cotton gown that never closed
he entered in a whoosh, his assistant hovering
in his familiar khakis and suede shoes
he checked me quickly
listened and tapped
squeezed and felt my breasts and under my arms
asked a few questions, mumbled
my stomach roiled
fighting back tears that wanted to fall
but I wouldn’t let them
because I’d come this far
he determined my battle plan
the chemo and radiation I had to have
bring it on, I said
ready to fight
not knowing what I would endure
he was casual
like a teacher on the last day of school
all is good
have a great summer
but why couldn’t I cheer
I wanted to hear I can relax and stop worrying
but those magic words never got said
Alone, I dressed slowly, my tears fell
I’d wanted to hug him and say thanks
he held my life in his hands
I wanted to tell him I stop and smell the roses these days
get two toppings on my frozen yogurt
and bless each sunrise
but he was gone
After retiring, one inspiring writing workshop launched Joanne Jagoda on an unexpected writing trajectory. Her prize-winning poetry appears on-line and in numerous print anthologies. She has received three Pushcart nominations and first place in the Gemini Open Poetry competion. Her first book, My Runaway Hourglass was published in 2020.
