every time
we’d host a party
afterward, we’d reflect
after the food was stored
the dishes were done
the house was tidied
we’d sit on the couch to reflect together
sharing the parts we’d enjoyed
the most
we’d bask in the glow
of shared friendship and family
and soak up the lingering warmth
yesterday
after hosting your
Celebration of Life
after packing away chairs
sending leftovers home with loved ones
and final hugs good bye
there was a solo
drive home
for me
when I entered the house
and sat on the couch – our couch
to rest
I turned
as if to reminisce
about the day with you
and then
it hit
hard
although you had been present
all day at your
Celebration of Life
you are
truly and forever
gone
there will
never be another event
that we host together
there will
never be another time
when we reflect on the event together
among the many aha moments of grief
this one
gutted me
the permanence
of it all
hit hard
I realized in that moment
your Celebration of Life
was our last event
and I began the journey
of reflecting on the day
in my own tender heart
