Your body spread
across the bed
your mouth
a warm pool
(If there are stages to grief,
are there stages to happiness?
Are they the same steps in reverse?)
Our bedroom in Tarpon River
late afternoon rain
poured like water
emptied from a well
Been up all night
negotiating with God
about my hubris attachment to despair
a curry of anger and faith
And I think
I’ve finally gotten
through to him,
those glutinous eyes
and egg white hands
This ambivalence toward living
fear’s honey topaz
parade of the horrible
has robbed me of my faith;
can’t you use your super human powers
just this once?
one miracle isn’t so much to ask;
(… don’t let him leave)
He promised applause
he promised emotion,
return to love, he said,
(…return to life).
