ORDER # WA-265 BY JAN BALL

I’ve changed my mind about ordering
the Stripes Ahoy Knit nautical-inspired
dress with contrasting red patch pockets
or moreso because of the contrasting
patch pockets. With my short stature
they would bunch on my knees, not sit
smoothly on the hips where they are
designed to be highlighted on taller
women with long legs (or cross-dressers
so my tall female friends inform me is
how they can find tall-person clothes
and bigger shoes).

I’m also unsure about the poly-spandex
material, as functional as it would be for
our travel to Brazil in July–wash it in
the hand basin then drip-dry it on a hanger
over the shower nozzle during the night
so housekeeping wouldn’t see attempts
to economize (hotel-laundered items
cost so much), but besides, I don’t need
anything tight across my abdomen
accentuating the lines of my plus size
underpants, plus I get a blotchy pink rash
under my arms from artificial fabrics,
so, as much as I like the item in the catalogue,
#WA-265, please cancel my order.