And I can’t see nothing, nothing, round here Counting Crows

I am a failure in this life

Drip by drip by quiet drip
my wellspring fills with a lifetime of defeat
endless pain of loneliness
of my own making by trusting a demon
offering sanguine promises
while sprites played
hide and seek with my fate
plucking my heart strings
long enough to stir my passion
to wonder what could be
what should be
before I descend
deeper into this sunken chamber
their whispered merriment at my failure
as my despair echoes off curved walls
my sprites snicker at mistakes only I can see
decisions to stay when I should have left
to believe when I should have doubted
their crushing weight turns my marrow to dust
which they pledge to reverse
if only I accept their certainty
I am a failure
I ignore their chatter
beseeching god to lift me up
is that her swirling,
etching circles in the frozen water above me
alas, it’s just a glint of moonlight
passing through the night sky
refracted through the ice
that is the door.

Lorraine Cregar is a novelist, poet, and corporate communicator. Her poetry has been published in The Writers Circle Journal and The New Jersey Bards Poetry Review 2023. She is writing her first novel, Jackson Street Books, and her first poetry chapbook about life, cats and Corporate America.