When I was a girl,
we visited
my grandma
often.
The three-hour drive
meant we stayed
for the weekend.
She was a young widow,
with a to-do list
for my dad and my uncle
every visit.
Clean the gutters
rake leaves
fix the toilet
that kind of thing.
Their work clothes
lived in their old attic bedroom
for these times –
work pants,
gloves
and flannel shirts.
The clothes from their
boyhood
yet they
were now men.

My grandma wore flannel shirts
for raking leaves and
mowing the lawn.
Fiercely independent
and a product of
the Depression,
still alive
in her memory
and in her
habits.
I just realized
that those flannel shirts
she wore
were either my Grandpa’s,
my dad’s or
my uncle’s.
Funny-
I always just thought of them as
Grandma’s.

In high school in the late 70s,
I wore flannel shirts.
They were kind of “in.”
But I guess flannel shirts
have been “in” for a long time …
for farmers
miners
pioneers
factory workers.

My favorite memories of
wearing flannel shirts
as a girl
were over my swimsuit
in Lake Michigan summers
or when camping with my friends
from work at the
Kalamazoo Nature Center.

Now when I wear flannel shirts
they’re usually my son’s
hand-me-ups
there are layers of memories
in these shirts
warm and cozy
shirts and memories both.

Or my husband’s
from whom I
am separated
but with whom I am
still close friends.
When we first split
I covertly packed my favorite
flannel of his
and wore it
when I needed …
sustenance
strength
memories
comfort
or buried it
beneath my pillow
to catch a glimpse
of him
as I fell
softly
to sleep.
I’ve since returned it
with apologies
for I’m stronger now
and have my
own
flannel shirts.

I also wear them
for Pioneer Day
at school with my students
remembering
those who have gone before us
to pave the path for us
tenacious
strong
persistent
brave
enduring.

Now I understand
a little more deeply
the comfort my grandma
must have found in
wearing her men’s
flannel shirts
and how complete
it made her feel
to be independent
and strong in them.

We are wrapped
in the love
of our loved ones,
as we do the vital work
that is needed
to be done.