the ice layer is deceiving
this time of year
the surface is bruised and has
begun to crack
i stand on the edge of the lake
considering whether i’ll cross
to the other side

most of the questions that have
kept me awake at night
have fallen through
and died unanswered
i am not one to defy temperatures
or the murky waters underneath
nor am i free
from years-old resentment

but here i am all the same

my only certainty now is the ice
is too thin to support the grief i am carrying

so i guess i’ll leave my backpack behind
– questions and all –
get walking and risk the ice

they say
the water is great
this time of year