I’m annoyed
at the sunshine today
it’s just wrong
it should be raining
like my heart
I do not want
to feel the sunshine
on my skin
I long to walk
under the rain’s shower
I do not want
to walk in the warmth
of daytime
having to nod to others
happily on their way
I long to walk
under cover of night
with cold air
and distant stars
for aloof company
I long to sit
on the shore of my lake
with memories of you
unfolding in time
my only companion
I want to walk
and let this grief
descend and dissipate
on its terms, not mine
ebbing, flowing
I cannot do that
in sunshine and warmth
it’s too big of a clash
for my tender heart just now
sunshine hurts too much
I long for a cloud
so I can have room
to grieve in peace
without the stark reminder
of hope and happiness
there will be
a lifetime for sunny days
but for now
I yearn for the grace
of a cloudy day
there must be time
for this heart to heal
under cover
of clouds and peace
and quiet solitude
