When I was 14, a young man in a red sports car wasn’t looking where he was driving and crashed into the station wagon in front of him. When the policeman asked him to describe the accident, the fellow said, “Sorry, officer, did you see the legs on that girl?” That girl was me. I was walking down the street with my friend on the way to the movie theater when this happened.
Everyone swore that figure skating had given me beautiful legs—my first exposure to the importance of good body image. Four times each week, Mom schlepped me to figure skating lessons. I was scolded if I dared to miss a session. For me, skating meant less time hooked up to my lifeline, the telephone. In my mid-teens, boys popped into my life and skating became less of a personal priority. After four years, the discipline of skating had taught me that you have to work hard to be good, persistence brings success, exercise is important for well-being, and the muscles developed in youth are the foundation for a fit body for life.
My parents often verbalized how much healthier it is to maintain a healthy body weight. The narratives of our childhood tend to stay with us forever, and I heard their voice in my head for pretty much my entire life.
In my 20s, I noticed that the few pounds I gained over the holidays landed directly on my thighs with no detours along the way. Those unsightly cellulite pockets formed in my thighs and buttocks, and the mirror recruited me for the battle of adipose tissue. To save myself from depression, I found the best aerobics program in Central Florida, where I lived at the time, and bopped up and down to thumping music. Years later, it was somewhat easier to maintain a healthy weight living in California where at the time, more people were mindful of their physical appearance.
Over the years, I studied my dietary habits. I raided the local bookstores for books on maintaining a good body weight, accompanied by a healthy body, mind, and spirit. I loaded the refrigerator and pantry with an abundant supply of organic fruits and vegetables and loaded up my water bottles with filtered water. This diet really worked as long as I stuck to it.
By the time I reached my mid-30s, I already had three kids, some gray hairs, and was slogging through my eldest daughter’s turbulent adolescence. I pulled out photo albums of my own teen years and became obsessed with body image. I felt lousy as a lobe of fat hung over the incision from my cesareans and the weight from three pregnancies all requiring bedrest stuck to me like glue.
With each year, I found that my metabolism slowed down and the battle to keep in shape got more difficult. Actually, I disliked growing older and watching gravity take advantage of me. In spite of a regular exercise regime of aerobics and daily walks, my nice legs were slipping away, and if I didn’t do something quickly, they would disappear forever.
When I rolled into my fourth decade and was still talking about losing a pound or two, my mother told me, “Hon, now is the time for you to decide if you want a nice body or a nice face, you cannot have both.” At first, I thought she was being funny, but as the years rolled on, I understood what she meant. She warned me that after mid-life, if women try to lose weight it will first come off their face and then their body. I vowed to prove her wrong and have it all.
Like many in mid-life, I kept my ears and eyes open for miracle tips to keep me young-looking by scanning magazines and watching medical documentaries. My mid-life turning point was visiting a health spa in Utah hoping for miracles about finding the old me. I learned about my body type. I dished out $125 for a body-type specialist who calibrated my percentage of body fat, asked me lots of questions, and reviewed all the answers I provided on an extensive questionnaire. He decided I was a “thyroid type,” instructed me to drink a lot of water, and gave me a diet that would change my eating habits forever.
Once, a trainer told me, “If occasionally you overeat, you can counteract its effects by drinking more water than usual, or eating less the following day.” I found this strategy worked, if only you would remember to drink the water and zip your mouth the following day.
Before long, my cravings for sweets were satisfied by making the healthy switch to carrots, and my desire for breads and pasta was washed away by drinking lots of water. Since then, I have made my way through many other diet types, such as The South Beach Diet, The Hot Flash Diet, Dr. Gundry’s Diet Evolution, Fat Flush, Body Type Diet, Eat Clean Diet, and the Fasting Diet.
The desire for a slender body must come from within. When in my early 60s, my husband bragged about how good I looked. “Some 40-year-olds look older than you,” he remarked. My husband and I encourage each other to stay healthy by working out regularly, eating well, and taking a mélange of vitamin supplements. Sometimes it’s easier to maintain a good body image when you have a partner. The fact is, now I’m in my 70s and while looking good is important, my focus is more on feeling good. I always feel better when I eat well, but I don’t stress myself out by eating only healthy foods. As far as I know we only live once, so why not enjoy a little more?
There are so many dietary eating trends. When I was a young adult, I was told to avoid those foods we crave; but now, I’m told to listen to my body and eat what I crave. I guess we most often follow the advice of convenience.
I don’t want to make keeping a good body image sound incredibly easy. I learned that, like figure skating as a young adolescent, regardless of your chosen regime it is a discipline. When we find the formula that is right for us, it’s a good idea to stick to it like a magnet to the outside of the refrigerator door!
Diana Raab, MFA, PhD, is a memoirist, poet, workshop leader, thought-leader and award-winning author of 14 books and editor of three anthologies. Her work is widely published and anthologized. Her poems have been nominated for the Pushcart Prize and The Best of the Net. She frequently speaks and writes on writing for healing and transformation.
