I googled my ex-husband,
could find no trace of him,
tried to calculate,
maybe thirty years ago?

I could verify the date,
check past job resumes
and address books,

if there is no trace of him
in all-pervasive cyberspace
is he dead, the man
I first loved forty years ago?

Even when I was
divorcing him
to save some semblance
of myself, I regretted it.

I started a new life,
grew independent,
and then re-married,

on a whim, one cold March day,
I looked for what I lost,
what I once believed
would last forever.