Your eyes open but the sun isn’t there
like mornings the week before
and you find your toes that hit the floor
cold so you bring them back under the blanket
your brain is a sluice carrying hyacinth
flood waters crashing against the gates
of your skull your eyes crusty from
the sleep you finally fell into after
playing the piano music but now
the alarm is reminding you to
reassemble yourself regardless of the
lack of light regardless of the autumn
darkness that zaps your energy and
opens the chasm of depression
the black hole of nothingness
you fight so you find your feet your
head pounding its way to the bathroom
where the french fries from yesterday’s
meal eating out are talking to your colon
and you talk yourself into showering
and your cat follows you into the
kitchen reminding you vocally he needs
to be fed and you take a minute
just a couple minutes to sit down
on the steps outside reminding yourself
it won’t always be this way that
you will find all of yourself that
it will get better that you will not
always feel this way just
put one foot in front of the other
and just do for today for now
what needs to be done
and just breathe
you can do it
you are whole
reassembled for the day
for now
and yes
its okay
and
it will
get
better
Tansy Julie Soaring Eagle Paschold is an anxious alcoholic bipolar gender fluid queer poet and artist from Norfolk, NE with synesthesia who likes growing things. They have been published in several literary magazines. Julie sells their sketches at the Ravenwood Art Gallery. Please read
https://medium.com/@jpaschold or https://jpaschold.blogspot.com/.
