My heart stopped by today
says he’s tired of living
in someone else’s ribcage
said that boy of mine has got
a trophy case full of other hearts
one belongs to sally
Kailee
Joanne
That Lisa girl
she never did smile
but I told my heart I’m indifferent
as long as I’ve got his
I stared at the sun
until it went behind his house
the sky turned red like the shadows
had eaten the ball of fire
and were spitting out the bones and blood
The clouds look curious
when they are splintering
thought he would be too stuck to notice
but I saw his eyes there too
sending smoke signals to mine
save my soul, don’t spare it
So I floated over wearing yesterday
singing our secret into my pores
so my veins could send
the words somewhere safe
I like to think he said
I love you
in his head
and the warmth I felt
was his brain waves
trying to drown me in something
we would later call
chance
mistake
a reason to keep our heads above water
and look for the shore
even if it was just a mirage
So there we sat
confusing life’s requests
I remembered something about
always looking for
a new taste
and when it’s just right
training your taste buds to forget
I never had a tongue-tied memory
until I dipped into his crooked smile
and now I’m confusing my hour of revival
and the number of backwards steps
it would take to bring me
to the door I never closed
If I could spin lies like silk
like he could add just enough
vertigo to my anatomy
to make my blue bones dizzy
it would be easy to tell him
I was okay with what happened next
Okay to walk into the
run on sentence of tomorrow
and not fear when the words would stop
and have us freefalling into…
eternity? space?
somewhere like yesterday
when he didn’t know my name?
I am bad at forgetting details
so I will reminisce over the cuts
his paper skin gave me
when he wouldn’t let go
recollect the stars
that spelled his name so perfectly
and feel nostalgic about
the season he changed me into
because even now that he is gone
his summertime is still sucking
the winter out of me
