I am in a room crowded with so many people yet feel so very lonely. I would rather be a pretty bird, like a lovely red cardinal. I would fly so far away; but rather I am the raven. Dark, a bit scary, I remain. I am out of sight. I am a loner yet have always been intellectual in this life.
I will sometimes bring you a gift. I admire you from afar. A button, pebble, a piece of yarn, a shiny earring found – shaped to be a star. I want to please you and make you feel special. I have always yearned for that. I may perplex you if I happen to capture your eye. You will find me an oddity even think I could be a sinister spy. I wonder if you hold a slight moment of fright. I cannot help but question the same of myself upon having you in my sight.
Please allow me to be forever clear. You must not worry that you will ever see me reappear. I kindly ask that you do not look for me, but I secretly fantasize you will. You will forget and instead hold your gaze to that lovely red cardinal high upon the sunny warm air.
One day you may have a fleeting thought of me upon finding my old surprise. The gift I had presented to you while you finally understood my virtuosity. I think one day you will recognize that while I am not the pretty red bird so many frequently see, I am the pulchritudinous one of whom never presents only intermittently.
I was overlooked and shadowed by the sun. I was never noticed within that lively crowd in all its color, noisy fanfare, and glee. The music was too loud as life often can be. When the parties are over, sleep shall overcome you. However, I have never left you. I remained awake while you dreamed peacefully. I watched you with adoration. I have always held for you such dear veneration.
I recall the warm summer breeze of a Louisiana storm that quickly approached. It carried its far and deep thunder, holding its familiar and profound rumble. It was a summer storm with all its mighty fists. The sky began to darken, the clouds filled heavy with rain. The air became faster, and it cooled. Louisiana rain came. I held firm and sprightly in that tall dark tree’s grasp, for I am the Raven, the bird of a different class.
I am not revered like the red bird, by any, or at least it seems to be. Others flew away while I held very tightly to that old, grounded tree. I hoped you might have noticed my individuality, my caring love for you and my never-ending loyalty. While that Louisiana storm continued with its ever-growing and impressive power, I could not help but to ponder if you ever thought of me. I continued in that challenging storm that all escaped from, and I rode it out. I earnestly prayed that you did not hold any questionable doubt of my presence yet somehow knew of my impetuous protection.
I yearn for you to hold me forever in your heart, to have always known that I love you and have desired the same from you. I am the lonely yet lovely Raven, a guardian, a majestical bird, one never to be wilted from life’s unyielding storms.
I am your confidante. All along your life’s path, I will remain. I, too, can fly high and free yet choose to be your angel. I remain vigilant and steadfast. I hold the Louisiana weather-worn eyes of the enchanting Raven always with a beholding and loving eye on the person that I cherish the most.
Leslie Prater was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease that robs the mind of creativity and thinking altogether. She hopes her loved ones will remember her enduring love for them while never forgetting her mind before it disappeared. She is from Louisiana having weathered storms of awe throughout her 48 years of life. The approaching storm she faces will soon be her legacy.