it breaks my heart that you died
that you’re gone
that you’re never coming back.
it breaks my heart that
I didn’t get to see you before you died
you didn’t want me to see you this way
it breaks my heart
that I will never hear you laugh again
ever, not even once
it breaks my heart
that I’ll never smell your scent again
not even on the dark nights when I need to the most
it breaks my heart
that I’ll never hear you say you love me again
when my heart so longs for your words
it breaks my heart
that I’ll never spoon you again
or float on the fumes of our love
it breaks my heart
that you’ll never read to me again
end-to-end on the sofa
it breaks my heart
that we’ll never ride in the canyons again
yelling “woo hoo!” as we head to the high country
it breaks my heart
we’ll never listen to music again
with your signing off key to my laughter
it breaks my heart
that the me that was me when I was with you
is gone along with you
the one who was free
and brave and whole … and loved
the one who was young with you
it breaks my heart
that you died and are never, ever
coming back
Jennifer Gurney lives in Colorado where she teaches, paints, writes and hikes. Her poetry is widely published, two of her poems have won international contests and one was turned into a choral piece. Jennifer has four books of published poetry, My Eyes Adjusting (2024), Liquid Sky (2025), Love’s Echolocation (2025) and Light Matters More (2025).
