Life has beaten you down to the point
Where there are no periods
At the end of your sentences.
You keep whining and complaining
Like you live a more horrible existence
Than any other being in the entire world.
Whether it is your ingrown toenail,
The mumps your parakeet has
Or that you only had sex twice today,
You are never,
I wish I was in your shoes and owned your shoes.
I wish I had a pet to worry about taking out.
I wish I had a girlfriend to break up with.
I wish I had a car that could break down.
I wish I had a house to paint and decorate.
I wish I had a dollar to waste.
I wish I had a job I hated going to.
I wish I had classy suits to stain.
I wish I had a steak to put salt on.
I wish I had a winning team to root for.
I wish you were the one wishing.
Craig Rondinone has written: Ten Tales to Make Your Head Explode (short story collection) and Jeepers (children’s book) and has had pieces published in Clever, Mobius, Cantaraville, Oracle, The Broken Plate, MUSE, Third Wednesday, Riverrun, The Rose and Thorn Journal, Evening Street Review, Cooweescoowee, Penumbra, and KYSO Flash.