at the edge
through the hazy air
I see a speck of white
then two more dots
of white on blue
and
my
heart
pounds
in
my
chest
!
pelicans!
my soul sings
a chorus of thanks
to the lake
to the universe
to God
for this moment
this joy
this lightness of being
in this day
of fog
when I learned
of your leaving
joy through grief
so nascent
that my heart
still reels
at the word
(dead)
so instead
of facing the darkness, yet
I come to the lake
to visit
my pelicans
to feel
whole
whilst my word
is shattered
into a million tiny pieces
bits of my
former self
strewn
across the ground
glinting in the sunshine
but you
gliding across
the lake
you bring
calmness to chaos
joy to pain
and light to
the darkness of my world
and I can
breathe
(if only for a moment)
again
