so many things
move me
now
the touch of my cat’s paw
gently in the morning
to wake me
her soft
trill-meow greets me
such kindness
the air itself
filled with the aroma of hazelnut coffee
and layers of memories
the pop of the toast
in what used to be your toaster, then ours
butter melting before the first bite
looking at our picture on the fridge
I fall into the memory
of you
gazing at the clock
I am startled that so much time has passed
from waking to this moment
time in grief is funny that way
a moment can hang in the balance
for a day
staring at your picture
and falling into the memory
frozen in time
or the opposite
is equally true
sometimes at the same time
a day
can pass
in a hair’s breath
twisting open the shutters
to the pink sky tinged with orangy yellow
I weep with gratitude and sorrow
for they live together, now
inside the hollow chamber of my heart
where you once lived
and in the morning’s
new beginning
I sigh
one more day
without you in it
how is that even possible
