what is the difference between
memories of you and grief
now that you’re gone
I want to kick grief out
but will I lose you if I do that
my heart clenches at the thought
you are woven into the grief
the very fiber of it’s being
for grief’s existence is because of you
so as much
as I want to kick grief to the curb
I cannot
and that knowledge
is the bitter pill to swallow
that is grief
accepting grief
sounds like accepting your death
and I reel against that
my mind keens hard against the wind that is grief
yelling into it with all the breath in my lungs
just one word: no
but you are gone
and I am left, bereft
in the wake of your leaving
to ride the waves
of this tsunami of grief
without a shore
longing for the tranquility
of open sea and a breeze
to lift my sails
riding out this storm
not alone but alone
I must surrender to the wind
